Manis and Pedis….
A few days ago, M and I were talking about how some types of services (think plumbing, electrical wiring, tiling etc) are best done by professionals. People who specialize in those services and are good at them. Two nights ago, I added manicures and pedicures to this list, after yet another evening of unsuccessfully attempting to give myself a mani and pedi.
I began with all the right tools – or so I thought…nail polish remover, cuticle remover, cuticle push stick, nail file, tissues and cotton swabs. But of course, the multi-tasker in me decided to try and do some work on the computer at the same time…while my nails were “drying”…..Sigh…
1. Do not attempt to give yourself a manicure/pedicure while working at the computer. You will spill nail polish remover on or near your laptop.
2. Make sure that your puppy (or cat, dog, hamster, pet lion etc) is fed and is sound asleep, or he/she will decide to investigate and step all over your wet toenails…which you have just repainted for the third time.
3. If the aforementioned puppy (or cat, dog, hamster, pet lion etc) DOES step on your wet toenails, pick him/her up IMMEDIATELY. Or he/she will traipse all over your white carpet leaving a trail of poppy-colored paw prints everywhere.
4. Do not attempt to blow your nose or pick up any clothing while your fingernails are drying, or you will get little tendrils of fiber stuck to your wet nails and will have to redo the entire thing again…for the fourth time.
5. Trying to open a bottle of wine with wet fingernails is also a very bad idea. You will either chip your nails and polish, or spill wine everywhere in a futile attempt at salvaging what is left of your ruined manicure.
6. Do not sleep on white bed sheets until your nails are COMPLETELY dry.
7. Just save up for a manicure and pedicure…or learn to live with less than perfect finger and toenails.
Note the amateur results on lilac-colored fingernails and poppy-stained toenails: